Some people just can't be helped

Today I have done something I never thought I would do in all my life. I stopped caring.

The story is that I had a friend with a few "issues". I have known this for so long and I have tried to be there for her and do things for her. God knows how much money all together I have spent on this girl. I thought of her as my best friend, so, of course I didn't want anything bad to happen to her and I wanted to help her out of the state she was in. I met her only about 2-3 years ago now I think. She seemed alright, she lived into the next town away from mine and it was cool having someone that seemed happy and fun around. At first she was the one cheering me up. After a few months I didn't see her a lot because I had sixth form. She would have been in college but due to some apparent health issues, which I think are connected to her depression (so, all in her head) she couldn't get out of bed. But somehow managed to go out drinking and able to not go home for days. Again, all down to her depression but if you cant go to college but you can roam the streets everyday and night??? c'mon!

After the few months not really talking to her she suddenly drops it on me that she tried to commit suicide. Now, I did worry for a while. I didn't know what to do. This was all new to me. I was really worried about her and wanted to know she was going to be ok. She told me she tried to drown herself but a stranger dragged her out the river and she hated that she survived because no one helped her and she was just put in a police cell for the night. I am not entirely sure, but I don't think that is how it works. To be honest, with everything she has told me over the years...she would have been locked up by now if all of them were true. I do not know what to believe anymore. She has told me about many suicide attempts and all of them conveniently fail. I have held my tongue about this for a while but today she has pushed me to my limits of understanding.

After all the depression and suicide stories I have tried to be there for her and gave her all the support I can give. I tried to encourage her and try make her look on good sides of things. Nothing works with her. But the other day she said she was going back to college and was really happy about it and looking forward to actually doing something with her life rather than sitting in the house doing nothing all day everyday going deeper and deeper into her dark hole of depression. So I was happy for her and if I am honest I was proud that she finally had pulled herself out of this dark mindset she had been in for so long.  All I wanted was for her to live life to the full and do everything with the full capability that she has. She isn't stupid and she isn't a waste. But she was wasting her life doing nothing for so long.

So I didn't text her on her first day, obviously because she would be doing work or something.......so I thought. I text her in the evening and she told me it had been hell and she had a breakdown because it was too hard and everyone thought she was a freak. She took Drama, it was the first day, they wouldn't exactly been doing much. But I did care about her so I tried to help her stay positive and even offered to go see her. She just went on about she didn't want to be alive. I think I talked her round and calmed her down a bit, I had faith in her and believed she would overcome it if she put her mind to it. She was calm until today. She took a day off yesturday so I asked how today went. She said she had given up and staying home from now on. WTF! seriously! ONE day...ONE!!!

I just gave up. I had spent days crying over her worrying about if she was ok. I have had sleepless nights thinking about her. So I didn't want to sugarcoat it. I just said I gave up and there was nothing I could do for her anymore because she is just sinking deeper into her own depressive mind. You know what she said to me? I will tell you. "Shut up you pathetic fat bitch. Leave me alone" So to this point I just fucking flipped out. I offered her help, she wouldn't take it. I tried being there for her only for her to tell me I don't get it and I don't understand because I have no mental issues. She acts like I've never had to go through bad times in my life and I've never felt bad about anything and never been depressed. She is 19, soon to be 20. She hasn't lived long enough to know how shit life can really get so she is pretty much fucked. I tried telling her that she meant too much to me for me to watch her destroy herself with all that is in her head and that was exactly what it was...IN HER HEAD! I siad I will still be her friend but I can not watch her be like this. Guess what she said..."I hope you die!".

That is the thanks I get. I have tried to help her for years and worried about her for so long. I have spent so much money on her. I took her on holiday, I bought her thinks. Got gig tickets and band t-shirts and everything. I did everything I could think of to make her happy. But because I gave up and didn't want to watch her suffer anymore she goes and throws it all back in my face. I am starting to think that because she isn't getting my sympathy anymore she has shown her true colors. But seriously, I tried my best and I just can't do it anymore. I am going to uni in 9 days time and I can't be dragged down like that. Not again, not after the state I was in during sixth form worrying about her. I am not going to be like that again. I am doing something with my life and I am finally going to be happy and doing something that interests me and what I love to do. If she wants to give up on life and live the rest of her days at her mum and dads house sat being depressed everyday and not doing anything with her life then I am going to leave her be. She can't call me pathetic after everything she has said to me. I'm done with her now. I can't go back. I don't want any harm to come to her. But I tried to help and you can not help someone that doesn't want to be helped and won't help themselves. Some people just can't be helped. xXx

WTF POKEMON?!?!?!?!?!

I have heard a lot of things about the new Pokemon X and Y versions and have mixed feelings about it. As a child I watched the first generation anime, back when there was only 150 Pokemon. I remember watching the first ever episode and getting the first ever movie on VHS for my birthday. The first ever game I played was my friends Fire Red GBA game. I only played it for a day and I loved it. The first game I bought was Pokemon Pearl and all the Pokemon and story lines were new to me. I got used to it after a while as I enjoyed playing the game. I bought the Leaf Green GBA game to put into my DSlite to get back to the good old original Pokemon generation which I grew up with and loved. From Pearl I played all the games up to Pokemon Black because Pokemon just got too over the top with their designs and I couldn't really get into it. It was no longer the Pokemon I loved. So, I didn't really bother with Black and White 2 because I just lost interest. But hearing about the new games has made me think, Should I give it another chance?

I am not really familiar with those top three starter Pokemon, So, I am guessing they are new. The fire type looks awesome and all three designs are really cool. But in Pokemon X and Y you will get to chose not only those starter Pokemon, But the original starters from the first generation games.
Not only that, but they have mega evolve forms too!

 Mega Blastoise. It looks awesome! Those canons are better than the original design, but is it a bit over the top? The Pokedex entry says it can hit targets up to 6 miles away. Reall? Not to much?

Mega Charizard. This is by far the best design. It looks much more dragon...but is it still not a dragon type in the new games? I always wondered why it was never a dragon type. It would make sense, it looks like a dragon, it can learn Dragon Breath...WHY IT NO DRAGON TYPE!!!

Mega Venusaur. This one hasn't really changed much. I think it learns a move it couldn't learn before to raise defence against fire and ice type moves. But appearance-wise not much difference at all. There is a flower on it's head and the flower on it's back is bigger. Not very impressive. Why does didn't they put more effort into this one? They made the others cooler and more awesome and didn't make much of a change for poor Venusaur??? I am sure there are grass type fans that love this Pokemon. But everyone I have talked about Pokemon games with, it is usually the water or fire types taking all the glory. Mainly because they are stronger and look more impressive.

There is even a new mega evolution for MewTwo. To be honest I don't like it. MewTwo was already supposed to be the greatest, most perfect Pokemon in existence. So why does it need a new form? I liked the original design better anyway. This design to me is not that impressive. Especially since MewTwo was already the most impressive Pokemon anyway.

This is where I think Pokemon has gone over the top a little bit. They made a new type. Fairy Type. The new Eeveelution was released to the public a while ago. I don't know if it is because I am not really girly...but I don't like it. It is a great design though. I just personally do not like the girlyness involved. Yet, Eevee is my favorite Pokemon and I am happy to evolve it into this new Eeveelution just to add to the collection. But they really are going over the top with all these new Pokemon and even an entirely new type. It has really changed since the original 150 Pokemon of the first generation.

The game has updated graphics and in 3D so gamers can get closer to the action I suppose. I love the battle layout. But the thing I hate is that we have all these shiny new graphic...yet...they still can't put in actual Pokemon sounds??? Seriously? I would really love for Pikachu to actually sound like the cute little creature it really is rather than sounding like someone stabbed Bumble Bee (Transformers) in the ass. I do not really know much about the story line but I bet it is as over the top as last time. Another thing is that they are overloading on legendaries. It is like it means nothing anymore. Pokemon just isn't the same as the Pokemon I grew up with and loved so much.

That is enough of the Pokemon for now. I am still unsure about getting the game and trying it out. May give it a go just to see if they bring back some of the value it had to me in the good old days. But who knows.

New Sims 4!

Yes, it is true. The new version of the Sims is on it's way. I have to be honest, I am not that excited about it. When I was a child it was the time when the first Sims came out. I wasn't that much into computer gaming and was spending most of my time playing Scarface and The Godfather on PS2. My friend who lived next door to me actually introduced me to the game. I played it with her for a while and I instantly got hooked. I remember buying the first game for my computer from Woolworths and loving everything about it.

 I borrowed the other expansion packs from my friend and expanded my tiny empire. At the time I didn't use any cheats as I wasn't aware of them. So it was fun honest gaming. I loved controlling all these little Sims and planning lives for them.

 But it always bugged me that they never grew older and even with expansion packs it is very limited to what the Sims can actually achieve.
So, you can guess my excitement when the Sims 2 came out. I remember seeing it advertised on TV and going nuts. But at the time I hadn't played Sims in a while after my computer broke. I had been playing the Sims games on PS2 and had already completed both The Sims and The Sims Bustin' Out. Ah, I loved my childhood...So back on track. I borrowed the 4 Disc Sims 2 pack from my friend as she usually was the first person to get any of the Sims games and used it on my Aunties laptop until I got my own. Even though the base games are very...well, ya know...basic...I had a lot of fun. You had more choice with everything. You can actually make your family related, You could get teenagers, You had more choice of clothing and they got older over time.

 The graphics was so much better and you can view things from different angles when you are playing a family. You could choose the neighbourhood layout and put houses where ever you want (as long as it is on a road).

 You also had more choice in build mode and it was nice to have a few houses already built for you.
 Then after every expansion pack it just got better. The seasons changed, you could have pets, go on vacation and live in apartments! It was like having a real little town and I loved everything about it.
Then Sims 3 came along and I thought it would be cool. By then I couldn't play The Sims 2 anymore. My old laptop broke and had to wait a while before buying a new one...which had Windows 8. Now all the Sims fans reading this will know about this issue. The Sims 2 will always crash if you have a Windows 8 operating system. Its shiny new graphics for the present day gaming out-dates The Sims and The Sims 2 causing it to crash, mostly when you try and create a family. Some people have even said it will not even install on their Windows 8 laptops. So of course being away from the game for so long I decided to buy The Sims 3, along with The Sims 3 Pets. I had to admit, I did not like it. The town was already set up for you so there were no houses to put in place unless you wanted to make a new one, which I will say was still fun. The graphics were great and the Sim themselves were more accurate to real people...well...closer than the original game anyway. There was even more variety to make them even more human-like than before by using sliders to choose skin colour, body size etc etc.

The pets looked cool too and actually looked like the breeds they are supposed to be. I loved that you can finally have a horse, which made my fantasy farm come true...almost, because I still want farmyard animals. But it was one step closer. The things I did not like was that when you leave one family and play another, all families you have made continue their lives. This didn't work for me at all as I had plans for each family and when left to free will that all messed up and nothing went as planned. Playing as a teen you can be arrested for staying out late and your pets always run off where ever they want unless you lock them in the house or you build a fence. It was just so annoying every time I was playing a family, the horse from my previous family I played is just trotting around the streets. I like to keep things organised and this game just wouldn't let it happen. I got bored of it and it tried my patience so much I didn't even bother getting the other expansion packs for it. It didn't help that the game would crash. Maybe it was the same problem with Windows 8, but it didn't do it as much as on The Sims 2 game. I just had to keep saving every 5 minutes.
But now they are bringing out a Sims 4! I am not sure if I can handle it again. Apparently the graphics are even better and the Sims are more lifelike than ever as the creators have given them emotions. For example, Sims can feel depressed when listening to a sad song or getting dumped by another Sim. Yes, real emotions. So not only do you have to keep up with motives, but you have to watch out for your Sims emotions.

The creators have made building a lot easier too by making it so you build your house room by room. You can easily change shape of a room and link it to other rooms and if you get sick of what you have made you can simply just grab a room and move it somewhere new. I admit, I like the sound of that. But it is not the building I have a problem with. I like to pick a layout for my town and decide where each house is going to go. I do not want to be restricted. For the create a Sim, they have got rid of the sliders.

All you have to do is click on a body part and move/shape it to whatever you want your Sim to look like. So, just like making a clay model. I might buy the base game when it comes out as I am curious as to if I would like it and what other changes they have made to my most loved game. But, for me, The Sims 2 will always be the best.

 The Sims 4 Official Gameplay Trailer

The Sims 4 Official Arrival Trailer